Laying it bare..

So I've decided to write a 'chatty' post as most of my posts recently have been short and informative instead of my usual witty rants. And the subject I've been thinking about most recently is confidence. This came about after I had a facial on Saturday, and obviously you can't wear make up for 24 hours afterwards as it will go straight into your pores and result in more spots! Generally my days are spent inside alone revising so the fact I had no make up on was not a problem. However, I did end up going to a friends house afterwards, COMPLETELY BARE FACED. And soon it was two days later and I was at my boyfriends house still make-up less and before you know it, its Tuesday and Im at my weekly Zumba class surrounded by both strangers and girls I know, still without a trace of mascara or concealer or any kind of enhancement. I couldn't really believe it myself, as usually I am entirely disgusted by my own bare face!
I started to wonder how this miracle had occurred and since when had I become so at ease with showing the world my imperfections? And it eventually came down to how comfortable I have become in my own skin recently. I used to look at my under eye circles, break outs and wet hair and think that no one could ever see me like this or they would be too horrified to ever be my friend, or worse yet, stay attracted to me. Yet here I am a year or so later in a long term relationship with someone who tells me everyday how beautiful I am even when I am straight out the shower looking like the girl out of the ring. Obviously he can notice the different when I have a full face of make up, but generally I'm still me, whether Im made up or not. This fact in itself is proof that being in a long term relationship does a great deal for your confidence, I mean sure he's said and done a lot of things which have made me entirely insecure but when the second you realise somebody completely accepts and loves you for you no matter if you don't look great in the morning or have missed 1 out of 3 spin classes that week! On top of that, as you get older you really start to appreciate your family and close friends more and more and they do love you unconditionally. And unconditional love means they're not going to judge you for being born with under-eye circles or being a pear shape! With all these great people in my life, I don't need to worry about impressing new people with how I look.
Another important point to add about being content, is all the other things in your life! My life is filled with things such as studying for a degree, church, my fitness routine, my relationship and now my job. I admit not having a job has left me feeling inadequate. I was/and still am (until my first pay cheque) completely dependant on my Dad, my Grandad, my extended family and even my boyfriend, and of course its an easy life but it does start to get to you. I also think having a job, meeting new people and achieving targets does a lot for your own personal drive and again, confidence. Earning your own money and being independent is such a great freedom especially for women! It also helps that I got offered a job my Abercrombie, which shows I must have some good genes even if I can't see them!!!
A lot of people may turn round to me and say that my confidence isnt true confidence at all, I'm only happy with my body because I diet and go to the gym religiously. But again, I know my family and boyfriend will still love me even if I didn't diet. So really, its the perfection I'm chasing for myself. Achieving the body you want is a goal, and human beings have a physical need for goals and achievement. It also gives me a lot of control in my life, what I eat and how hard I work out focuses my mind and generally I've found a good diet and exercise works wonders for your mental health and overall well-being. You couldn't get through a spin class three times a week unless you genuinely enjoyed it, so It's not all about just being slim.
Personally, I do suffer a lot with insecurities at times, there's a lot of girls out there I would love to trade bodies, faces or minds with, but you just have to focus on the good attributes you do have. I'm sure my friend Lizzie would vouch for me in saying I have the gift of the gab, and I am outrageously confident in social situations and at times cringe-worthily outspoken. I guess I was so naughty as a child, I've learned to be able to make up elaborate yet believable stories on the spot, and believe me that is a life saver in interviews or awkward situations!
So in conclusion, whether I have make up on or not, is not going to change the fact that I'm a crazy blonde with too much to say and so stop worrying about minute details or you'll end up at the bottom of a pit of insecurities. And if people are going to judge me because I look like the living dead without make up then fine, but I'd rather judge me on the quality of my best friends, my family, my boyfriend, my education, my career and the things that really matter in life. As I found in the Abercrombie store, a lot of girls (and boys) are ridiculously good looking now a days and a lot of that is probably down to the beauty industry! And I love being as superficial looking as the next girl, but you've got to have some real substance underneath it. All it takes is some make up, fake tan and a gym to look good now a days, but it takes a hell of a lot more to be someone really worth admiring.