Last year, I woke up with my boyfriend of 2 years who had bought me lots of lovely presents, and we had champagne and pan au chocolats for Breakfast.
This year, the only male I woke up with was my chihuahua George, and I had some protein pancakes and a herbal tea for breakfast alone.
As you can see, life has changed!
However, I can categorically say that I am a much happier person now, than I was then and its because I've had time to really focus on myself and what is most important over the past 12 months.
I have totally taken over management of my lifestyle. Concentrating on my diet, my health, my fitness, my happiness and my goals etc. I have created a whole structure to my life with meal planning, exercise programmes, sleep curfews and keeping a journal/diary to keep me organised as well as my friends and my social life.
This may sound monotonous or extreme, but I promise you, for a girl who is overwhelmed with anxiety, this feeling of control and structure is a blessing!
I now have a job working at Abercrombie and Fitch, which gives me real purpose and independence by earning my own income, let alone the amount of new and engaging people I have met. As well as studying for my Degree which keeps me focused and academically challenged.
As well as just the obvious ones, I try and immerse myself in other enriching activities such as learning about new topics (for example, nutrition) through online seminars, and even the upkeep of this blog is what keeps my creative juices flowing!
Another hugely important thing I have learned this Birthday is how cherished my friends are and how important it is to build upon relationships with the good people in your life. All of my consistent 'life lines' as I call them, are girls I have been friends with since Nursery. And 17 years of friendship is something you cannot replace with the affection of any boyfriend. They have been through thick and thin with me, and know me inside out, probably even better than I know myself and without them I would be nothing. They are the reason this birthday was so special and the quality time I got with each of them was the best birthday gift I could have recieved. The thought and generosity behind their efforts on my birthday are testament to why I love them, and I never want a birthday without them :)
Not only old friends, but the amount of new friends who completely spoiled me this birthday overwhelmed me. I have never felt so blessed and truly lucky to be surrounded by such positive and giving people!
I am not a perfect person and my life is far from it. I suffer from down days more than people will ever know, and I am insecure about a lot of things in my life. However, I am blessed in so many great ways and therefore I refuse to let sadness overcome me. Ofcourse I'm still gonna cry over boys, and if its the right time of the month, Im likely to cry over inanimate objects too, but I am so thankful for the last 20 years, and those I have spent it with and I can only hope that I learn half as much as I have learnt this year. Life is so short, cherish the ones you love and don't waste time or tears on those who leave your life as quick as they enter it :)
I'd also like to mention that the moment I realised I was older, was when I got excited over my new teabags being individually wrapped in envelopes. YOLO.
Picture above, are Zoe, Michelle and one half of Lucy and Laura. These 4 girls put as much effort into my 20th Birthday as they did for this birthday and thats why I love them to the moon and back. And even though everything else in our lives may change, I know our friendship won't!
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