Another pretty face...

It's no secret that girls are plagued by body image issues and insecurities. But what I have noticed most, and what is scaring me the most is how accessible it is becoming. Not because I am against plastic surgery/enhancement, but because its now not just for the rich and famous, but in my own circle of friends. Surgical enhancement is no longer a celebrity standard, it's a public norm. This does not come from a girl preaching for natural beauty, but from a girl distressed that she can no longer keep up with the standards.

This distress began with Lip Fillers. Which I like to refer to as the entry drug. Getting your lips done has always been a thing, for glamour models, or older ladies. Which was fine. However, thanks to this cruel world and its trends, lip fillers is now for anyone over the age of 18 who likes to wear lipstick and look great on Instagram. Its about taking yourself, and making it a little better because you can. I'm telling you now, nearly every single make up account on Instagram I follow, the girls have their lips done. Now when you see these beautiful voluminous lips on a daily basis, of course you want them too. These aren't celebs, these are everyday girls that I know personally, and if they do it, why shouldn't I? I have a degree in research so of course I looked deep into it as I became more interested. And the next step was going to a couple of clinics to get some insight. I could write a whole other blog post of my experience in these places but the biggest thing that came out of it was how easy it is. You go in, they sit you down, talk you through the procedure and how easy and fuss free it is and offer to book you in. And it really is that easy. An appointment to get your lips done is around 30mins, it cost £200-300 and boom you're beautiful. There's obviously a lot that comes with it, aka they only last 3-6months, top ups are needed and with anything there are risks. But all in all, in 30 mins you can defy genetics to be that little more beautiful. The woman was practically unwrapping the needles before I could say no. And why did I say no? Tbh, it came down to the fact that whilst £200 is affordable, its actually a lot of money just to feed my own vanity. That kinda money could help towards rent, saving for a house, food, something a little more productive than 0.5mls of Juvederm. But I was bloody close to doing it, and had I won £200 on a scratch card, you'd be calling me Kylie Jenner as we speak.

Now for a slightly bigger procedure, Breast Implants. I have always been conscious of having a smaller chest. In recent years I have grown to love my little boobs. They are the most perfect shape and kinda suit my tiny frame. I never have to worry when it comes to fitting in outfits (which helps in fashion). I had become entirely comfortable with being the ass girl. Then a close friend of mine got implants and again it made me realise how easy it is. This insecurity that I have had since I was small could so easily be fixed. Yes I had grown to accept it, but why accept it when I could just change it? I was recently sat on a beach with a couple of guys and they spent a good hour discussing boobs, and I just looked down at myself and was repulsed. I felt like a little boy. Why be the ass girls when I could be the boobs and ass girl? Although even after the boob job you still get judged for them not being natural. Its such a lose lose game. Again, I looked into it, and usually this kinda thing you would NEVER be able to afford at 22, but boom, here come the finance plans. Suddenly for a small amount of money each month I would be able to fill out those beautiful lingerie sets, balance out my body shape and feel like a girl for once. It pains me to think that the money I would now be spending on a body shape could go towards saving up for a future, or god forbid helping someone in need but I can't help being overwhelmed by these insecurities.

I could go on about all the procedures I want, when you walk into these places they offer you entire packages. They point out things you didn't even know were wrong, like you can get fillers to plump out the dip in the bridge of your nose, laser hair removal for your nipples, microdermabrasion for your skin (don't get me started on my skin). I even got recommended botox at 22 in order to prevent wrinkles from forming. I mean who wouldn't want to be the ultimate woman? All you need is money (and luckily for me I don't have enough of it, or my obsessions would be out of hand at this point).

Having had a full breakdown about how ugly my body and I are, and how I need to spend all my hard earned money on these things to make me beautiful... something very sad dawned on me. I used to be so proud of myself. I used to compete with girls by acing my exams, being elected as prefect every year at school, being senior prefect, always winning every project and every competition I ever entered, always getting the boy I wanted, walking straight into my dream job the day after I graduated, for the love of god - Coca-Cola sponsored me to run with the olympic torch for being an inspiration, and here I am feeling worthless because I don't get valued like those beautiful girls with their clothes off on Instagram. (Again, no disrespect, the jealousy is real). People like me because Im not just another pretty face, and sometimes I need reminding of that.

So in conclusion, I can't say I won't be getting anything done, as lets be honest, it's as common as getting your hair bleached now a days and its only going to get worse. And unless Fashion starts paying better, I may have to start taking my clothes off for Instagram too. But until I can afford to do that, I will be channeling my energy back into being the ambitious geeky kid who believed she could be the best at everything, before society sank its teeth in.

xoxo