So first of all I have to make a huge apology for being the worlds worst blogger and just having 3 months off! My macbook exploded and I was so busy living life I forgot to write about it. And really I wasn't particularly inspired to write anything and therefore feel it wouldn't have any reading value. If I'm honest, I lost a lot of my momentum somewhere during exams and just haven't had the time to get it back! My boyfriend is currently living with me and so I am spending a lot of time with him and not much time having whole evenings being self indulgent.
I'm still not in the full swing of blogging again so this post will be a short collections of things I've learned over the past couple of months that I have neglected you.
1) Having a boyfriend takes up an incredible amount of time. I guess I haven't quite established that balance of having my own life again after the consuming addiction that is the honeymoon period. I still haven't rejoined a gym, and I do miss that side of things a lot. I'm lucky enough to have maintained my body despite the drastic change in diet and activity levels. However I still have my knowledge of nutrition and exercise so getting back to my peak will only be a matter of time.
2) The grass is not greener. I think anyone like me who tends to be a long term relationship person, suffers from this more than others. I've only had about 3 months of being single since I was 16. So compared to a lot of people I know, I have less experience of "playing the field". I realise this is probably a good trait. However sometimes I can't help but envy Carrie Bradshaw for all those several hundred dates she got taken on my different individuals. However, I realise now since being in love again that being attractive to a guy is fun and it is nice getting the attention. But it's one thing to get guys to look at you and appreciate your exterior. However when your boyfriend looks at you, not only does he see your looking hot, but he sees your ambitions, your ability to love and even knows the things that hurt you. Even when I was laying there recently struck down with flu, I swore I'd
never let any man see me in such a state and he still adored me just the same as when I'm fully made up and not opening a small tissue factory. And that acceptance has been one of the most beautiful experiences I have learned from. They can see straight into your heart, and want you more than any guy could want you just by simply looking at your exterior.
3) Despite my previous gooey love post. NEVER live with your boyfriend. I am now unable to go to the toilet without fear of him unlocking the door with a penny, running in and embarrassing me. And those days when you're feeling the wrath of hormones causing you to be psycho bitch of the century, the days you avoid all human contact for the safety of the public, well they get the full force of those mood swings hitting them like a steel freight train. Sometimes you just need to be alone!
4) You can't please everyone. I've been shedding friends recently and it's mainly down to exam stress causing me to be the psycho bitch mentioned above and also having less time for people due to being in a new relationship. All of my oldest and best friends didn't really bat an eyelid as we could go months without talking and still be like family. And a lot of them understood how hard exams are to go through. However, some people do get really upset if you start neglecting them but if you don't wanna be friends with me because we didn't hang out enough then maybe I'm not the friend for you as personally I think the best friendships are low maintenance. Just because I'm not seeing you doesn't mean I don't think about or appreciate you so there's really no need to delete me on Facebook after years of friendship. I cared enough to notice. But again, maybe a friendship so easily broken is not worth it anyway. On top of that, I was getting upset because I had a bad experience with someone recently and usually I get on with people very well. However as Dita Von Teese once said "you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world but there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches". I still have amazing best friends who stick by me through everything so why I got so hung up on someone who is completely irrelevant to my life, I will never know! Sometimes you have to realise that you're 20 and not in the playground anymore, have adult perspectives on things and accept that life changes.
5) Hard Work does pay off. So those exams I've been going on about half killed me. Waking up everyday and knowing all I would be doing all day is reading content over and over again everyday for two months is a depressing. I couldn't even allow myself one hour let alone time to watch a movie without a cloud of guilt consuming me. I was suffering from such intense pressure that my health (let alone my mental health) actually began deteriorating which meant less efficiency and ability to concentrate which led to feelings of failure which led to even more pressure. I cried nearly everyday and I could see no end. When the exams finally came, they were all horrific. However, turns out they chose such particular questions that only people who had scoured the resources endlessly would even be able to write a brief attempt. Thus separating who had made the effort and who hadn't without the need of an elaborate well structured essay response. And so, I managed to get a first in them. Including my highest score in my hardest module. It was a lovely surprise and made the struggle worth it. However I will still continue to doubt myself next year as arrogance gets you nowhere.
6) Stop Worrying! I have a job I love. A degree that's going very well (for now). A loyal and loving boyfriend. And the best friends a girl could ask for.
HATERZ GONE HATE.
Xxx
P.s The title to this post is the realisation that my blog name is not Irish accent friendly. And that I'm obsessed with making my boyfriend say words that sound different in Irish and laughing every time.
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